"Breaking the chains: From Darkness to Light" A letter to those who feel lost- You are not alone.

Dear Reader,

If you’re reading this, I need you to listen. Really listen. Because I know where you are. I know the weight you’re carrying. I know how heavy it feels to wake up and face another day when you don’t see the point.

I used to drown it out—alcohol, drugs, anything to escape the noise in my head. I remember when Meet Mr. NICEGUY by $uicideboy$ wasn’t just a song—it was my reality. I saw them perform it live, drunk and high on cocaine, feeling like those lyrics spoke for me better than I ever could.

“Every night I wanna live, every day I wanna die.”

That line was me. I wanted to escape my pain, but I didn’t want to die—I just didn’t know how to keep living. So I kept self-destructing.

“Please don’t call my phone at 3 AM, it won’t go through.

Please don’t call me up, I feel like I don’t talk to you.”

I pushed people away. I ignored the ones who cared. I did this because in my mind, there was no help. There was only the next drink, the next high, the next lie I told myself to get through the day.

“Self-destruction, what’s your function?

Hook me up with a brand new lie.”

That’s the cycle. Telling yourself it’ll be different this time. That you’re in control. That you can stop whenever you want. Until one day, you look in the mirror and don’t even recognize yourself anymore.

But here’s what I need you to know:

It doesn’t have to be this way. It gets better.

I didn’t believe that at first either. I thought the pain was permanent. I thought I was too far gone. But I was wrong.

Recovery is real. Healing is real.

Life after addiction, after depression, after rock bottom—it’s real. And it’s worth it.

If you feel like you’re falling apart, reach out. If you feel like nobody understands, I promise you, someone does. You don’t have to fight this alone. There is help. There is hope. And there is a future waiting for you, one that’s so much bigger and brighter than the darkness you’re in right now.

You are not alone. You are not beyond saving. And no matter what your mind tells you, you deserve to get better.

Please—if you need help, reach out. To a friend, a family member, a hotline, a support group. Just don’t keep it inside.

The world is a better place with you in it.

And I promise you—it gets better.

With love and understanding,

Malcolm W. Pannell

Resources for Help & Support

If you or someone you know is struggling, here are some resources that can help:

• SAMHSA National Helpline (U.S.) – 1-800-662-HELP (4357) – Free, confidential help 24/7 for substance abuse and mental health.

• Crisis Text Line – Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained crisis counselor.

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline – Dial 988 for immediate support.

• Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) – www.aa.org – Find meetings and support for alcohol recovery.

• Narcotics Anonymous (NA) – www.na.org – Support for drug addiction recovery.

• To Write Love on Her Arms – www.twloha.com – A movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for those struggling with depression, addiction, self-harm, and suicide.

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