
“Freezer Burn or True Love? Transforming from Unhealthy to Positive Relationships”
- facethyfear
- Feb 14
- 4 min read

This Valentine’s Day hurt differently for me. As I sat reflecting on love, I felt a deep ache—not just for romance, but for the bonds I’ve lost with family and old friends. There’s a longing for connection, for closeness, and I couldn’t help but wonder why those relationships feel so far away now.
It’s a painful question to sit with, but one I know I need to face: what part did I play in losing those connections? Healing isn’t just about recovery from addiction—it’s about recovery from the wounds we give and receive in relationships.
And yet, this Valentine’s Day also felt different because, for the first time in years, I rediscovered romance. I wanted to make it special for my girlfriend, and I think I did. Romance was something I had lost in my past relationships. It got buried under pain, distrust, and my own inability to believe I was worthy of love. But this year, I allowed myself to give, to care, and to love in a way that felt genuine. It reminded me that love—real love—is about showing up, being present, and building something steady.
A Cold Heart and the Pain of the Past

I’ve been through a lot when it comes to relationships, and the scars are still there. I’ve been in relationships where love was replaced with manipulation and betrayal. I’ve been hit, cheated on, and even had friends sleep with my girlfriend. Each betrayal left my heart a little colder, a little more frozen.
But I can’t just blame others for the pain. I have to take ownership, too. I begged people to stay, even when I knew they didn’t deserve me. I chased relationships that weren’t good for me because I was too afraid to be alone. I didn’t know how to be a good partner—or even a good friend. My heart wasn’t just cold—it was fragile, cracked, and barely hanging on.
For so long, I didn’t know what healthy love looked like. I thought love meant holding on, no matter how much it hurt. I thought it meant sacrificing myself to make someone else happy. And when I lost those relationships, I didn’t just lose trust in others—I lost trust in myself.
The Turning Point: Learning to Love Myself

When I began my recovery journey, I thought I was only healing from addiction. But the truth is, recovery opened my eyes to something deeper: the way I was loving others was a reflection of how little I loved myself. I was chasing people’s approval because I didn’t believe I was enough on my own. I thought love could fix me, but what I really needed was to start fixing myself.
Rehab taught me something I’ll never forget: you can’t pour into someone else’s cup when yours is empty. I had to start with me. I had to forgive myself for the mistakes I made and learn how to set boundaries. I had to stop clinging to people who didn’t value me and start showing up for myself in ways I never had before.

It wasn’t easy. Healing never is. But with every boundary I set, every toxic relationship I walked away from, and every time I chose self-respect over desperation, I could feel the ice around my heart starting to crack.
A New Kind of Love
Now, I’m in a relationship that feels different—healthier, safer. My girlfriend sees me, respects me, and loves me for who I am, flaws and all. For the first time, I feel like I don’t have to fight to be loved. It’s not about grand gestures or constant excitement—it’s about trust, honesty, and showing up for each other.
And yet, there’s still a part of me that wonders—does my heart feel cold because of freezer burn from my past, or am I just scared to believe this is real? Maybe it’s both. Maybe love is a process, a journey from frozen pain to warmth and trust. This year, I’m choosing to believe it’s possible to thaw.

Reflecting on Family and Friends
As much as I’ve grown, there’s still a part of me that aches for the family and friends I’ve lost along the way. I miss the connection, the closeness. But as I sit with that pain, I know I need to ask myself some hard questions: What role did I play in those broken relationships? Did I show up for them the way I wish they’d shown up for me?
Healing doesn’t stop with romantic love—it has to extend to the people we’ve hurt and been hurt by. It’s not easy to confront those wounds, but I believe that forgiveness, whether it’s for others or for ourselves, is the key to real connection.
Freezer Burn or True Love?

If your heart feels cold, ask yourself—are you holding onto freezer burn from the past, or are you afraid of embracing the warmth of true love? I’m still figuring it out myself, but I know this: love, real love, doesn’t leave you frozen. It sets you free.
This Valentine’s Day hurt in ways I didn’t expect, but it also reminded me how far I’ve come—and how much further I can go. True love isn’t just about romance. It’s about connection, growth, and learning to give and receive freely. Whether it’s with family, friends, or a partner, love is about facing your fears and trusting that you’re worthy of it.

FaceThyFear and True Love
This journey isn’t just about love—it’s about facing your fears, breaking free from the chains of the past, and choosing to live with an open heart. Whether it’s self-love, friendship, or true love, you have the power to thaw even the coldest heart.
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