From Rock Bottom to Rebuilding: How I Faced My Fear and Changed My Life

Four days. That’s how long I lay in a hospital bed, alone, while my liver failed me. It was the lowest point of my life, and yet, even then, I was still in denial. I thought I could keep going, keep drinking, and somehow survive the spiral I was trapped in.

The wake-up call came when I found myself back at home, still wearing my hospital gown, pouring liquor into a cup over the sink. That moment didn’t lead to change. Instead, it led to another binge—a desperate attempt to numb everything I couldn’t face.

But deep down, I knew something had to change.

The Turning Point

I’d tried to get sober before. I had been to rehab in Broward County, Florida, and Pennsylvania. Each time, I learned something about myself, but I couldn’t hold onto the progress. I relapsed. And each relapse was harder than the last, both physically and emotionally.

What finally pushed me forward was the people around me. Close friends and family convinced me to try again, this time in Savannah, Georgia. They saw potential in me when I couldn’t see it myself. After detoxing for a week, I committed to six months in treatment.

I’d be lying if I said it was easy. It wasn’t. I lost my freedom, my dignity, and the illusions I had built around myself. But what I gained in that time was so much greater.

Facing My Fear

In rehab, I learned how to live a functional life—not just survive, but truly live. I learned how to process emotions without numbing them, how to build trust with others, and how to face fear head-on.

Recovery didn’t erase the pain of the past. I still remember someone close to me saying I’d never get help, even after I told them I wanted to. Those words stung, but they also motivated me. I’ve always been a fighter, and giving up was never an option.

For me, recovery wasn’t just about quitting drinking. It was about rebuilding my life around love and faith. My higher power—God—became the foundation of that journey.

Building a New Life

Today, I’m still building. I’m pursuing a career in HVAC, earning certifications, and creating a future I can be proud of. I’ve gained self-esteem, rebuilt my family’s trust, and found a fellowship that keeps me grounded.

Life isn’t perfect, but it’s full of meaning. I’ve discovered the beauty of connection—whether it’s with friends, family, or strangers who’ve walked similar paths. Community is everything, and I believe people are our greatest resource.

Lessons Learned

Looking back, I wish someone had told me sooner that there’s a place where people like me can go to heal. I wish I had known that recovery isn’t just about quitting—it’s about discovering who you are and what you’re capable of.

My advice to anyone struggling is this:

• Be honest with yourself. Acknowledge your fears and desires, no matter how uncomfortable they are.

• Take small steps. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but each step forward matters.

• Seek help and community. You don’t have to do it alone.

Why FaceThyFear Matters

I created FaceThyFear because I know what it’s like to feel lost. I know the shame, the pain, and the fear that comes with starting over. But I also know the power of resilience and the beauty of transformation.

This platform is for anyone who feels stuck, afraid, or alone. It’s a space to share stories, find support, and discover that life truly is beautiful when you’re willing to face your fear.

If you’re reading this and wondering if change is possible, I’m here to tell you it is. Community is everything, and recovery is possible. You’re not alone.

Live to Love,

Malcolm Pannell

Founder of FaceThyFear