“LIFE AFTER: A LETTER TO THOSE STILL INSIDE”

By Malcolm Pannell | Founder, FaceThyFear

What Memorial Day Looked Like Without Drugs, Liquor, or Chaos

If you’re sitting in rehab right now, wondering what life will feel like when you get out—this is for you.

Not too long ago, I would’ve re-upped on a Friday like this. Cocaine. Liquor. Gone for three days. Memorial Day was just another excuse to binge. If I grilled, I was drunk. If I laughed, it was numbed out. If I rested, it was only because I crashed.

But this year?

This year was quiet.

This year was sacred.

This year was mine.

I stayed home. I grilled local sausages for breakfast. I fried green tomatoes I grew with my own hands—Parks Whopper Improved. For dinner: mesquite pork chops and yellow rice. My cat curled up next to me for a 3-hour nap. No panic. No craving. No withdrawal. Just peace.

Later, my girl and I watched wild police chases on YouTube. We laughed. I didn’t need a drink in my hand. I didn’t need a bump to stay awake. I just needed to be alive and grateful.

I thought about going out for ice cream, but I had already crushed a tub the night before. So I stuck to my late-night ritual: cold Double Stuff Oreos straight from the fridge. Trust me—if you know, you know.

And in the garden, my purple ruffle basil finally sprouted—rich, bold, and actually purple. A reminder that what you water will grow.

Last year, I went to a recovery cookout. This year, I didn’t. I was on call for work and—truth is—I just wanted to be home. I finally have a space of my own. A space that feels safe. A space I prayed for.

And I didn’t feel like I was missing out. That’s growth.

So if you’re in treatment right now—detox, rehab, halfway house—I want to tell you the truth.

Life doesn’t become perfect after you get clean.

But it does become possible.

Peace becomes possible.

Joy becomes possible.

Healing becomes real.

Here’s how I live today:

• I pray every morning.

• I stay away from anything that tries to steal my peace.

• I stay connected to my fellowship and real ones who keep me grounded.

• I indulge in my passions—cooking, gardening, building FTF, and pouring into others.

This weekend, I didn’t relapse.

I rested.

And in recovery, rest is a form of resistance.

It’s proof that you don’t have to run anymore.

This is what a sober weekend looks like.

No spotlight.

No crash.

No shame

Just peace, presence, and the power of a second chance.

FTF. FaceThyFear. FeedTheFuture. FlipTheFormula.

Visit FaceThyFear.com for more.