The Limits of Self-Reliance

The Limits of Self-Reliance

“ We asked ourselves why we had them [fears]. Wasn’t it because self-reliance failed us?” – Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 68

In recovery, many of us wrestle with the idea of letting go of self-reliance. For so long, we believed we had to face the world on our own terms—leaning on willpower, pride, and sometimes sheer stubbornness. But in that isolation, we found fear, discontent, and a deep sense of separation from the peace we were truly searching for.

Alcoholics Anonymous reminds us that this fear often stems from our character defects—the very things that pull us further away from God or our higher power. It’s not easy to admit that self-reliance has its limits, but understanding this truth opens the door to freedom. Recovery is about rebuilding a connection: to ourselves, to others, and ultimately to God.

When my friend Mr. 7 shared the excerpt above, it struck me deeply. It was a timely reminder of how recovery teaches us to replace fear with faith. In my own journey, I’ve found that relying solely on myself left me feeling broken and overwhelmed. My attempts to control everything often led to spiraling fear and frustration. Only when I turned to God, asking for serenity and guidance, did I begin to understand that my strength lies not in doing everything alone, but in admitting that I can’t.

The path back to God—or however you define your higher power—isn’t a straight line. It starts with acknowledging our fears and understanding their roots. Where does this fear come from? Why does it hold power over me? These are questions I bring to God daily, asking for clarity and strength. Through that process, I’ve come to see that surrendering isn’t a sign of weakness, but a gift of courage and trust.

Today, I find myself asking a different set of questions: How have I separated myself from God? How can I take small steps to rebuild that connection? Recovery isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress and recognizing that we’re never truly alone.

If you’re struggling with fear, take a moment to reflect: What are you holding onto that keeps you disconnected? You don’t have to face it alone. The same gift of serenity and comfort is waiting for you, as it has been for me.

Thank you, Mr. 7, for sharing this message and reminding me of the beauty in reconnecting with God.

FaceThyFear: From Darkness to Light.

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